My Late review of Drag Me to Hell

So, I finally saw Drag Me to Hell and I have to say, I was less than impressed. I was excited to see this movie. I’ve been a big fan of the Evil Dead series since I was a kid and saw Army of Darkness for the first time on First Choice (now known as The Movie Network).

When I heard Sam Raimi had a new movie coming out I was really excited. I obviously didn’t see it in theatres, but that’s another article I need to write about. I just don’t do theatres. Regardless of that though, I got ahold of the pre-release DVD and sat down with my girlfriend to watch it.

She didn’t want to watch it, but that’s expected. Women don’t normally like movies like that, but she watched it anyway.

From start to finish, I neither laughed or felt scared. At least in Sam Raimi’s other horror movies you find it kind of funny, but this was just…. blah. There was a scene with the main character’s nose bleeding profusely over the bank manager. Lame. The was the fight scene with the old gypsy woman. Super lame. When the demon took control of the body of the Spanish Dude. Extra lame.

Speaking of that scene, it reminded me of that scene in Evil Dead when the demon is in the air dancing to an Irish jig. This scene was clearly copied in Drag Me to hell.

Anyways, that movie was stupid and recycled. I guess it might just be me. I got my hopes up for the movie to be “Sam Raimi” and that’s what I got. I guess my tastes have changed and my love for Evil Dead isn’t that it’s awesome, but it’s just nostalgic. Oh well.

Why your XBox 360 sucks

Alright, so it’s only fair that I pick on the giant of the 3. The XBox 360. Since November 22, 2005 the XBox 360 has been a powerhouse of a console. They are currently the top selling console on the market. That might change now that the PS3 has the same $299 price point. Although, Microsoft could reduce their prices to retaliate. After all, the XBox 360 is a cheap piece of crap. Here’s why:

1. The Red Ring of Death

When a console has been out for 4 years like this one has, it’s hard to believe that such a “good product” (based on sales and fanoyism) can be such a piece of shit. How come they started shipping a product that wasn’t ready? The PS3 doesn’t have this problem and it’s got more horsepower under the hood! The statistics don’t lie. Look at this:

A new survey published in Game Informer’s print edition indicates the Xbox 360 failure rate has climbed to a shocking 54.2%. The magazine surveyed nearly 5000 readers, asking them about their experience dealing with broken consoles. 

Here are their findings:

Console failure rate
Xbox 360 – 54.2% 
Playstation 3 – 10.6% 
Wii – 6.8%

Read more stats here: http://xbox360.ign.com/articles/101/1014486p1.html

2. The Controller

Most 360 fanboys will argue this one to the death during a console debate. The controller for the 360 is garbage. It’s bulky, too heavy, and in all honesty, not much different than the original XBox controller. Take a look for yourself:

It’s not that much of a difference. I know the controller for the PS3 hasn’t changed in forever, but that’s because PS3 fanboys don’t care. They like the controller. ALL 360 people admit to the first controller sucking. It doesn’t look like much has changed. Also, no sixaxis :P

3. Blu-Ray vs. HD-DVD

OH SNAP! This one is gonna haunt 360 fanboys forever. The XBox 360 got owned in the HD Format war. The 360 doesn’t even come installed with HD-DVD. You had to buy it as a peripheral. This makes it cost the same as the PS3 and the resolution wasn’t that great on HD-DVD and it failed anyways. If you bought this add-on, you would have shelled out money for nothing.

Because I don’t wanna write a summary for everything, here’s a list of other reasons why the 360 sucks:

• Most 360 exclusives are on PC!
• You have to buy a Wi-Fi adaptor (Wii and PS3 come installed)
• You have to buy an inter cooler (The 360 heats up quickly)
• You have to pay for LIVE
• It’s more expensive after adding everything to it that it should have
• It has an extremely large power supply
• It has a disc tray. WTF! No one uses those anymore!
• The XBox 360 has a locked hard drive, unlike that of the PS3
• Halo is outdated!

The boys over at Microsoft should have put more time and thought into their console like Nintendo and Sony did, instead of trying to get their console out before everyone else, because it clearly is garbage. Now that you know that, and hopefully it’s not too late, you have no reason to waste your money! You’ve been warned.

Why your PS3 sucks

Face it. The thing sucks. I have one and cry every time I turn it on. I suppose it’s come in handy as games started coming out, but I really just bought it as a cheap Blu-Ray player. At the time I bought it, $399 was the price point and that was as cheap as Blu-Ray Players got. Sure, games started coming out that got me interested, but no real exclusives to get me behind it enough to really mean it when I tell people it’s the superior console. It is, but it isn’t at the same time. Here’s why:

1. Price: No so much anymore, actually. For the sake of argument and history, we’ll make the argument. The PS3 was the most expensive console on the market. Sure, it’s a cheap Blu-Ray Player, but people just weren’t making the move to Blu-Ray anyways. They still aren’t. Read this. No one was buying the PS3 and they were instead flocking over to the XBox 360. This allowed more money to be put into development for more games.

2. Games, Games, Games: Sorry, but no one’s gonna flock to a console when one of your biggest games is Little Big Planet. Sure, the concept is good, but I think people will have more fun with Left for Dead or Gears of War. Playstation has no PS3 exclusive games worth making you shell out for the cost. The PS3 has been too expensive for too long that there is no development behind it and the the boys at Microsoft have clearly taken advantage of that.

3. Online Play: The online experience flat out sucks. For the cost of it, $0, it’s actually outstanding. If you’re lucky you will connect to someone almost seamlessly and play a game before getting booted after 20 minutes. That’s not a bad record. The XBox 360, even though you have to pay a yearly fee of about $50, has waaaaay better online play. You can chat while loading a game, and even boot a gameduring that chat.

4. Graphics: Now, here’s where you might be wondering, why is he complaining about the graphics? Everyone knows the PS3 has the best graphics on the market right now! That may be true, but developers are having so many issues creating games that they’re not using the full potential of the machine. In fact, development for the XBox 360 has moved so far, so quickly, that it actually has superior graphics. Crazy eh?

So, there you go! The PS3 is a piece of garbage and you might as well throw it there, because you and your PS3 would be better off there.

Now, don’t think this is an XBox 360 fan boy or Nintendo Wii fan boy article, cuz it’s not. I made that clear with my article on why the Wii sucks. So, the XBox 360 isn’t safe, and I got those sons of bitches in my sight for my next article!

iPhone App Review #4: µMonitor

Here’s µMonitor for the iPhone, which was recently rejected by the appstore after the “AppStore Gods” reviewed it for 4 months or so. According to Apple:

“We’ve reviewed µMonitor and determined that we cannot post this version of your application to the App Store at this time because this category of applications is often used for the purpose of infringing third party rights. We have chosen to not publish this type of application to the App Store.”

Basically, they don’t want to support third party apps that allow the use of BitTorrent. Thankfully, if your iPhone is jailbroken, you get the app. It’s already available through a quick search in Cydia.

Ain’t she sweet? This is one of my new favorite apps. The sweetest part of this app is being able to start and stop torrents remotely over 3G or EDGE on-the-go.

There’s really nothing to this app, except for what’s already been explained.

Unless you’re familiar with setting up the WebUI on µTorrent, I suggest you start here or use The Google.

Once you’re set up, though, it’s super-sweet. This is an awesome app and probably my favorite app not on the actual app store.

Why your Nintendo Wii sucks

Before I really get into this, you should know that I own a Wii. It’s been sitting in my TV stand cupboard for about 8 months now.

I play my PS3 mostly now. It has similar titles like Call of Duty: World at War, Rock Band, etc… But, once the novelty of that “WiiMote”wears off , you end up with a cheap piece of plastic that you give to your mother because she thinks it’s better than going to Curves! Sure, it’s cheaper, but she’s bound to throw that wiimote through the Fucking TV screen.

The one thing that bugs me about the Wii’s online system are Friend Codes.FriendCodes are these little serial numbers you get on your Nintendo Wii that you exchange with your friends to play gamestogether. Itsoundssimple, but they make it as if they don’t want youplayingonline, because no one’s gonna want to remember some 12 digit long code so you can play fucking Mario Kart! How about a Lobby to jump into where you can meet people online? Or maybe a previously played list of people you can add to later? Abolishing these codes and having a nickname like Sweetguy_69 (the one I use to pick up chicks online) would obviously make more sense. I guess Nintendo doesn’t have any common sense since they didn’t release a working product to begin with.

After thenoveltyof me waving my wiimote around wore off, I bought my PS3 and was thrown back into the world of controller gaming. Using buttons and joysticks was great to get back to. Let’s face it. The Wii is a novelty. Period. If it had better graphics to fall back on, I’d be singing a different tune, but it doesn’t. Even the games on the virtual console are just recycled classics that you can get on yourcomputerwith enough common sense and a torrentclient.

After all this is said and done, there’s no fun with this shitty piece of plastic. Aside from getting drunk and playing bowling or golf with one of your friends, there’s nothing else to do with the Wii. Who sits at home and jerks off a WiiMote alone? No one!

Furthermore, why did they release an addition to their existing product tat [perfectedit? They added this fucking attachment to thebottomof the wiimote to make it more precise? WTF! They should have done this when they released the product! Holy Hell! I can’t wait to see their new Nintendo. Whatever the fuck that is. In the meantime, I’ll be playing a real machine. The PS3.